Came across this article by Daniel Wong, thought it is good to share. Daniel provides in a concise list not 10 nor 15, but 50 positive things to say to your child. If you run out of words to say, this list may help. Let's start with some of our personal likes. For the full list, please refer to his website.
1. “I love you.”
2. “What do you think?”
3. “I enjoy spending time with you.”
4. “All of us make mistakes.”
5. “You’re special to me.”
6. “I appreciate it when you . . .”
7. “I trust you.”
8. “You’re getting better at . . .”
9. “Have a good day!”
10. “Let me think about it.”
11. “What happened here?”
12. “It looks like you’re having a difficult time. Can you tell me about it?”
13. “I’m sorry.”
14. “Your practice is paying off.”
15. “How did you do that?”
16. “What’s one interesting thing that happened in school today?”
17. “What did you try hard at today?”
18. “I’m sure you can do it.”
19. “You decide.”
20. “How do you feel about that?”
21. “I’m ready to listen.”
22. “You were right.”
23. “I believe in you.”
24. “I saw that you tried hard at . . .”
26. “I can see that you’re becoming more . . .”
27. “I’m excited about doing this with you!”
28. “That’s a good question.”
29. “Let’s do it your way.”
30. “Can you explain to me why you did it this way?”
31. “That was thoughtful of you.”
32. “Can you teach me how to . . .?”
33. “How did you think of that?”
34. “I knew you could do it.”
35. “You’re learning how to . . .”
Showing posts with label Parenting styles. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Parenting styles. Show all posts
Friday, June 09, 2017
Monday, December 15, 2008
Parenting styles
There are three types of parenting styles: Authoritarian, Permissive, Democratic or authoritative. Research on children's development shows that the most positive outcomes for children occur when parents use democratic styles. Children with permissive parents tend to be aggressive and act out, while children with authoritarian parents tend to be compliant and submissive and have low self-esteem.
Authoritarian
Authoritarian parents always try to be in control and exert their control on the children. These parents set strict rules to try to keep order, and they usually do this without much expression of warmth and affection. They attempt to set strict standards of conduct and are usually very critical of children for not meeting those standards. They tell children what to do, they try to make them obey and they usually do not provide children with choices or options.
Authoritarian parents don't explain why they want their children to do things. If a child questions a rule or command, the parent might answer, "Because I said so." Parents tend to focus on bad behavior, rather than positive behavior, and children are scolded or punished, often harshly, for not following the rules.
Children with authoritarian parents usually do not learn to think for themselves and understand why the parent is requiring certain behaviors.
Permissive
Permissive parents give up most control to their children. Parents make few, if any, rules, and the rules that they make are usually not consistently enforced. They don't want to be tied down to routines. They want their children to feel free. They do not set clear boundaries or expectations for their children's behavior and tend to accept in a warm and loving way, however the child behaves.
Permissive parents give children as many choices as possible, even when the child is not capable of making good choices. They tend to accept a child's behavior, good or bad, and make no comment about whether it is beneficial or not. They may feel unable to change misbehavior, or they choose not to get involved.
Democratic Or Authoritative
Democratic parents help children learn to be responsible for themselves and to think about the consequences of their behavior. Parents do this by providing clear, reasonable expectations for their children and explanations for why they expect their children to behave in a particular manner. They monitor their children's behavior to make sure that they follow through on rules and expectations. They do this in a warm and loving manner. They often, "try to catch their children being good" and reinforcing the good behavior, rather than focusing on the bad.
For example, a child who leaves her toys on a staircase may be told not to do this because, "Someone could trip on them and get hurt and the toy might be damaged." As children mature, parents involve children in making rules and doing chores: "Who will mop the kitchen floor, and who will carry out the trash?"
Parents who have a democratic style give choices based on a child's ability. For a toddler, the choice may be "red shirt or striped shirt?" For an older child, the choice might be "apple, orange or banana?" Parents guide children's behavior by teaching, not punishing. "You threw your truck at Mindy. That hurt her. We're putting your truck away until you can play with it safely."
Source: http://pediatrics.about.com/od/infantparentingtips/a/04_pntg_styles.htm
Authoritarian
Authoritarian parents always try to be in control and exert their control on the children. These parents set strict rules to try to keep order, and they usually do this without much expression of warmth and affection. They attempt to set strict standards of conduct and are usually very critical of children for not meeting those standards. They tell children what to do, they try to make them obey and they usually do not provide children with choices or options.
Authoritarian parents don't explain why they want their children to do things. If a child questions a rule or command, the parent might answer, "Because I said so." Parents tend to focus on bad behavior, rather than positive behavior, and children are scolded or punished, often harshly, for not following the rules.
Children with authoritarian parents usually do not learn to think for themselves and understand why the parent is requiring certain behaviors.
Permissive
Permissive parents give up most control to their children. Parents make few, if any, rules, and the rules that they make are usually not consistently enforced. They don't want to be tied down to routines. They want their children to feel free. They do not set clear boundaries or expectations for their children's behavior and tend to accept in a warm and loving way, however the child behaves.
Permissive parents give children as many choices as possible, even when the child is not capable of making good choices. They tend to accept a child's behavior, good or bad, and make no comment about whether it is beneficial or not. They may feel unable to change misbehavior, or they choose not to get involved.
Democratic Or Authoritative
Democratic parents help children learn to be responsible for themselves and to think about the consequences of their behavior. Parents do this by providing clear, reasonable expectations for their children and explanations for why they expect their children to behave in a particular manner. They monitor their children's behavior to make sure that they follow through on rules and expectations. They do this in a warm and loving manner. They often, "try to catch their children being good" and reinforcing the good behavior, rather than focusing on the bad.
For example, a child who leaves her toys on a staircase may be told not to do this because, "Someone could trip on them and get hurt and the toy might be damaged." As children mature, parents involve children in making rules and doing chores: "Who will mop the kitchen floor, and who will carry out the trash?"
Parents who have a democratic style give choices based on a child's ability. For a toddler, the choice may be "red shirt or striped shirt?" For an older child, the choice might be "apple, orange or banana?" Parents guide children's behavior by teaching, not punishing. "You threw your truck at Mindy. That hurt her. We're putting your truck away until you can play with it safely."
Source: http://pediatrics.about.com/od/infantparentingtips/a/04_pntg_styles.htm
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Parenting styles
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